It was 3:00 a.m. when I finally lost all patience with my husband’s incessant snoring. It had been going on for years, and I had tried everything to get him to stop. I had even bought him one of those expensive anti-snoring devices that you wear around your head, but it didn’t work. I had tried pinching his nose shut, but that only made him snore even louder. I had tried elbowing him, but he just turned over and kept on snoring. I had tried shouting at him, but he just mumbled in his sleep and kept on snoring. I had even tried recording him snoring and playing it back to him at full volume, but he just laughed and said it sounded like a bunch of hippos honking.
I had tried everything, and nothing had worked. I was at my wit’s end. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to do something to make him stop.
So, I killed him.
I hit him over the head with a baseball bat while he was asleep. I knew I had to hit him hard enough to kill him, but not so hard that it would look like a murder. I wanted it to look like an accident.
I staged it to look like he had fallen down the stairs. I arranged his body at the bottom of the stairs, and I placed the baseball bat near his body. I knew the police would investigate, and I was counting on them not being able to figure out what really happened.
It worked. The police ruled it an accident, and I got away with murder.
Now, I am a widow, and I can finally get a good night’s sleep.