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How to Deal with a Friend who Always Cancels Plans

Oh okay, pull up a chair, pour a cup of coffee, or tea if that's your jam, and let’s chat about a struggle that sometimes bog us down - that friend who always cancels the plans. You know which friend I'm talking about, don’t you? You get all dressed up, ready to hit the town, and then you receive the text message, “Hey, sorry, I have to cancel…”. Sound familiar? Isn’t it infuriating?

We all have that one friend who chronically cancels plans. But before you put a mark for each ditched dinner on your kitchen wall à la Shawshank Redemption, let's try to explore some strategies on how you could deal with the Constant Cancellers.

First and foremost, sit on that thought of buying a voodoo doll that looks uncannily like your friend. Communication is the key here, my people. Yes, I know it's hard. But it’s not as hard as taking out your frustration on that poor bag of chips. Talk to your friend about it. Express your feelings honestly and assertively. And remember, don't just vent out or blame them - try outlining how their actions make you feel. They probably may not even realize the inconvenience they’ve been causing you.

What’s that? You’ve tried talking? Well, let’s design plans that they can't resist. Plan activities that cater to their interest and schedule. Are they a movie freak? A cozy movie night with popcorn might just be the bait. Always busy during the day? Plan a late-night chill-out session. However, this doesn’t mean losing yourself just to make plans work. It’s more about being flexible and accommodating.

Still no change? It might be time to have a relook at the dynamics of this friendship. If you're always the one going the extra mile to make plans, and yet they routinely drop them last minute, it's not quite fair to you.

Having said that, this doesn't mean you're doomed to a life of solo trips to the movies or dining alone at that fancy restaurant. In fact, hail this as your opportunity to broaden your squad. There are millions of people out there who love to hang out, so don't limit yourself to one or two friends. Diversification is a catchword not only for the stock markets, but also for friendships.

And, if you're feeling adventurous, why not take advantage of the cancellations and just do things on your own? Trust me, solo adventures can be liberating and empowering. Ever had ramen alone at a cozy Japanese spot, or binge-watched your favorite Netflix series without sharing the remote? It's pure gold.

Here’s another brainwave. If your friend is always cancelling plans because they're too busy, suggest a plan that's conveniently woven into their busy day. Like a quick lunch at the cafe near their work, or a workout class together - they gotta exercise, right?

Strategizing a tad too tiresome for you? I hear you! In that case, get them involved in the planning, it gives them a sense of responsibility towards the plan. This might just give them the necessary push to honor the plan.

Finally, don’t forget to have the backup option in place in anticipation of the possible cancellation. Just don't leave your calendar blank for them.

Just remember, you can’t control everyone’s behavior, all you can control is how you react to it. Bear in mind that heavy cancellers often have their reasons — they might be facing challenges, feeling overwhelmed, or wrestling with their own problems. Be patient, understanding and see things from their perspective. However, don't let your friend’s inconsistency turn you into a hermit. It’s your life, go paint the town red — with or without them! Now, who’s up for a fun night out, sans cancellations?


Is this news? I guess not really. Just funny and interesting stuff.